How Not to Self-Publish by Rosen Trevithick

First off, I'm not and will never be an author.  Second off, this is a very funny book that is not just for authors.

Yes, this is a very instructive book for would-be self-publishers, but it's a lot more about what not to do and how not to offend readers.

The book is set out into mini chapters based on potential scenarios, such as "A Reader Notices a Typo", "Your Wallet Hears Erotica Calling", "Your Quote About Dog Turds Goes Viral" and "Another Author Plagiarises Your Zombie Heptathlon".  There then follows guidance on how to manage these scenarios.

Since the book is set out in mini chapters it is easy to just read one or two when you have a few minutes.  I read this book in 3 goes as it was "just one more", "OK just another".  I found it to be very light and funny and quite adult in places.

If you've liked any of this author's more comedic stories, you'll like this, even if you are like me and prefer reading to writing.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00MHTW07S/?tag=jookuf-21

Mini Interview with Rosen Trevithick

This person has made me a junkie.  A chocolate junkie.  But now I cannot have any old stuff, it has to be hand-made with love and a bit of swearing.  And chocolate smeared everywhere, especially my cheeks from when I stick my face in the mixing bowl to make sure there's no waste.

So here's a few words from the dealer.

What’s Chocolate Making Adventures, and in what way is it about an adventure?

It’s a cookbook that teaches you how to make chocolate at home. By chocolate, I mean actual chocolate – the brown (or white) stuff. It’s not one of the many books where chocolate can only be made by buying some then melting it.

It’s an adventure in two senses. Firstly, developing the recipes was an adventure for me. I didn’t wake up one morning and think, “I know, I’ll type up my chocolate recipes and publish them”. I had to develop each one individually, trying out every kind of cocoa butter, sweetener and milk product until I was 100% happy with the results. Two forms of chocolate – milk and white – took months to perfect. It’s also an adventure in the sense that the book sets the reader on a journey with endless possibilities. Once you learn how to make chocolate, you will want to do it again and again, creating all kinds of variations.

You got members of the public to test recipes for you. Did that really make a difference?

Absolutely. No matter how hard you try and follow a recipe to the letter, when you’ve written it yourself, it’s impossible not to fill in any gaps. Invaluable recipes testers such as yourself drew attention to parts that needed tweaking and further information.

The recipe testing programme also threw up issues such as to only use full cream milk powder, which I would have never arrived at without people trying unexpected permutations.

Thank you so much for testing so many recipes, Joo. I really appreciate it.

How do you respond to allegations that your methods mirror those of a drug dealer?

Admittedly, there are some similarities between hooking vulnerable people onto addictive drugs, and sending out small samples of cocoa butter by post. Had I known so many would rush out and buy further cocoa butter by the sack load, I’d have bought shares.

http://www.rosentrevithick.co.uk/recipes/

Chocolate Making Adventures: Create Your Own Chocolate by Rosen Trevithick

I was told this is one of the only books to show you how to easily make your own chocolate from raw ingredients.  I didn't really believe it, but on having a look online, it's true, there is very little information on actually making your own chocolate.  There's plenty of books and websites on how to melt chocolate to make new shapes but that's not this book's main selling point.

The book starts out with info on chocolate, then has the main recipes on how to make dark, milk and white chocolate basics.  

I volunteered and got involved with a facebook group to test out the recipes.  I am normally someone who avoids spending too much time in the kitchen, but I soon got addicted.  The ver first time I tried following the first recipe I didn't have a clue and didn't have half the proper tools for the job.  I had no idea whether I was doing things correctly as I didn't know how the ingredients would react.  Then I had to do it again and again and again as I wanted to get better.  My colleagues like my new hobby as there I make far too much chocolate for me to eat.  They always asked what liqueur I used, but it's just honey.

There are also recipes for the insides.  My particular favourites are peppermint creams and the clotted cream mousse.  Sometimes I'll make my own chocolate for the outside and sometimes I'll melt a cooking chocolate to make things easier.  None of the recipes have loads of ingredients.  They are really simple.  I do advise on reading the recipe thoroughly beforehand, especially whether to use teaspoons or tablespoons.  One recipe said up to 6 teaspoons of honey.  I used 4 tablespoons!!!

There is a lot more info and help in the book such as troubleshooting, alternatives to recipes, what ingredients and moulds to use.

As a whole book, this one seems to cover everything you need to know about making chocolate (and a note on how to best enjoy chocolate)  Be warned, it's addictive.  I am awaiting more moulds so I can make even more chocolates.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B017WUOSOE/?tag=rosent-21

http://rosentrevithick.co.uk/recipes/

Here are some photos of my creations.

My Granny Writes Erotica 2 by Rosen Trevithick

This is the sequel to My Granny Writes Erotica, where granny, Betty Berry, writes an extremely successful erotica novel.  Betty is a middle class housewife who had to write the book as she's down on money, having kicked her errant husband out.

In this installment, Betty has to face up to being famous and also being kicked out of the country club, her "friends" having rejected her new-found notoriety. 

As with the first story, whatever Betty does innocently, bites her in the bum (pun intended).  Now Betty's back on the market, she dabbles with a bit of romance, rather than rumpy pumpy, but her reputation precedes her.

I re-read the first story and went straight into this and I think it is better to have read the first story.  Certainly if you smiled at the first one, you'll enjoy this one.  I finished it with my mouth aching from smiling so much.  Yes, the story can get a bit juvenile at times and some things you can see coming a mile off and that is part of the fun.  My eyebrows even got a workout in these bits as my eyes got wider and wider, waiting for Betty to realise what she's got into.

Another great book by Rosen Trevithick.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00HNAYJZW/?tag=jookuf-21

http://mygrannywriteserotica.co.uk/

Seesaw II by Rosen Trevithick

Like Rosen Trevithick's first anthology, Seesaw, this is a collection of novellas, short stories and flash fiction.  I read some of the stories elsewhere as they are available as standalone books and in the KUForum anthology Off the Kuf volume 1, however this set of stories goes well with the author's ups and downs of her writing and her life.

The stand out piece for me is 'My Granny Writes Erotica'.  This is a wonderfully funny story of a granny needing to raise money and deciding her book can be published on kindle.  

The first story 'A Stormy Afternoon in Falmouth Harbour' is edge of your seat stuff and makes you not want to put the book down.

The flash fiction pieces work well as they kind of follow on from each other and when you get to the next one you have to read it.

I'm not really a fan of Trolls, but this was readable in that you get the human version of the story in 'The Other Father' which is quite a powerful piece, then the Troll version which was interesting in a writing way to me rather than a troll story way.

Even if you've read one or two of the pieces of this anthology elsewhere, you get a lot of story for your money in this anthology.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00FX1Q8XY/?ref=jookuf-21

Off The KUF Volume 1

This is the first of 3 volumes of short stories, drabbles and novellas from the KUForum's authors.
I am a big fan of many of the authors who hang out there, so I knew I'd like this book.  I was wrong, I loved it.

From the start with Lynda Wilcox's story 'Intelligence Test' to 'The Last Story' I was enthralled throughout.

I'll just mention some of my favourites.

The first one 'Intelligence Test' is a great opener.  Malcolm is up for a job which is on offer at the Foreigh Office.  The test seems way too hard in a simplistic way.  Who will get the job and what is the job anyway?

The very next story is by David Haynes and of course is one of his trademark creepy, macabre stories - a bit of a ghost story.

'Blackberry Crumble' by Cecilia Peartree is a longer "short" and I really enjoyed that one.  It is always great to read a new Auto story from David Wailing.

Rosen Trevithick has 2 parallel stories in this collection.  One is a Troll version and it is interesting to read them together.

'The Last Story' by H.K. Abell was intriguing and interesting and as it progressed it made me wonder about the sanity of the author.  The ending is well weird, but I think I liked it.  I thought it was an interesting way to finish off this collection

Of the 30 stories in this collection there was only one I didn't like, which is not bad going for such a large collection.

There are highs, there are lows, there are scares, there are laughs and there's the origin story of The Imp.  Oh and Trolls.

There are definitely some new authors here for me to go and investigate.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00GDLGTCS/?tag=jookuf-21

My Granny Writes Erotica by Rosen Trevithick

As soon as I saw this book was available I had to have it. 

Finding herself in debt, Betty needs money and fast.  She's written the best book she ever could, but nobody wants that.  So she decides to cash in on the new craze, but has no idea about anything much more than missionary or doggy.

I think I read most of this with a smile on my face.  I read it in one sitting, it's not long, a nice novella length and my only complaint is I could have read more and more of it.

This is certainly not for children, but the adult stuff is tongue in cheek.  It was a very enjoyable read

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00E6XXSQA/?tag=jookuf-21

Indie Scene Magazine Issue 1

There's a new magazine in town and it's the best.  Well it has me and my bunnies in it, so must be fab.

Check it out.  There's 54 pages to read, so set aside some time and enjoy:

http://www.indie-book-bargains.co.uk/indie-scene-magazine/

The Ice Marathon by Rosen Trevithick

This was an interesting tale, but not quite what I was expecting.  I was vaguely aware of the premise of the book before reading it, but what I thought the book was about doesn't really come into it for quite some time.  Also this was a shorter story than I expected (even though it does say it's a novella at approx 33k words that I hadn't spotted, oops).  The book was also a bit more adult themed in parts than I was expecting too.

As to the story itself, it deals with matters that are recurrent in Rosen Trevithick's stories, namely mental health.  As usual, you get a better understanding about it.  

This is certainly a decent read with comedic moments along the way

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00AFE286A/?tag=jookuf-21

The Selfish Act by Rosen Trevithick

This is one of Rosen's heart-wrenchingly sad short stories.  Rosen (as shown in her book Seesaw) can write very funny and also full of pain.  This is one of the pain ones.

Mowenna has what seems a happy life but she is far, far too troubled.  One happy day, she can't take no more and we are with her as she tries to deal with it the only way she can.

I hope I never feel like this.  The story really makes you want to hold her and tell her everything will be alright.  You get an insight into the workings of the mind of someone on the edge and it's a very, very scary place.

Despite the pain and sadness, this is a story that needs to be read.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B006KIXMYW/?tag=kuffbl-21

Pompomberry House by Rosen Trevithick

Pompomberry House by Rosen Trevithick is one of my most anticipated book in my Kindle-owning being.  So was it worth the wait and the hype and the teasing? ................ Yes, yes, yes, yes.

I'm sure I recall Rosen actually getting the idea for this particular book from a forum, where she couldn't decide between one story or the other and decided to do both.  It is the tale of Kindle forum life and Indie authors, but on a much exaggerated scale (I hope ;p).

As a whodunnit, you are kept guessing all the way to the end.  The characters are wonderfully larger than life and if you are a forum member, you do wonder where she got her characters from.

A wonderful easy read.  If you like any of Rosen's other works, you'll adore this one.

PS, I am the proud owner of one of the seagulls on the cover :D

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B008QBALD6/?tag=kuffbl-21

Summer Shorts by KUF

This anthology from kuforum authors is a collection of summer stories.

As with any group of authors / short stories, some will be favoured more than others.

Since most of these authors are in my top 10 favourite indie authors I rate this book very highly.

Even the story themes I didn't like so much were very well written.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B008NPJNOS?tag=kuffbl-21

On The Rocks by Rosen Trevithick

This story is a surprisingly easy read as is all of Rosen's stories.  Even though the subject matter is something that most people don't think about, it's dealt with in a compasionate way.

Meg is about to jump of a cliff as her undiagnosed mental illness makes her not want to live any more.  Poppy comes across her and befriends her and helps her to understand her illness.  It sounds depressing but isn't.  It does pull at your heart at times.

Before discovering Rosen, I'd not thought about mental illness, but I feel Rosen helps you to understand it.

I'd read this as part of Seesaw which has to be one of my Books of the Year.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0067A8KP4/?tag=kuffbl-21

The Other Daughter by Rosen Trevithick

The Other Daughter by Rosen Trevithick tells the tale of a young girl who’s sister has been abducted.

In the news we hear all about the missing child and the parents, but what about the siblings left behind?  The ones that are too young to remember the missing sibling?  The ones that don’t have a “normal” life?

Whilst you’d think this would be a harrowing tale it’s not really.  And if you liked this story, you absolutely must get Seesaw to read more of Rosen’s short tales.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B006R5LUHO/

Interrogating Rosen Trevithick

This is my 13th interview which should have been posted yesterday on Friday 13th.
Rosen is one of my new favourite authors as she takes you on a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows

How much of you is in your characters?

Most (but not all!) of my protagonists are based on some aspect of me. Sophie Sweet (Straight Out of University) is particularly similar to me – a thirty(ish!), left-wing, stubborn, drama queen. We have very similar perspectives on the world because we both grew up in a small Cornish village, went away to University and then came back – an interesting experience to say the least!


Which of your characters is the you that you’d most like to be?

I would like to be Steph (London, the Doggy and Me) at the end of the book (not throughout, when a situation involving a giant dog is escalating out of control!). I chose her because she's just about to realise her life's ambition, which is something we'd all like to do, (even if her exact dream – playing a whore in a West End show – isn't quite my cup of tea!).

The other character I'd like to be would be Ellie Hart (Straight Out of University) because, as Sophie keeps reminding us, she's arguably the most impressive woman who ever lived.


How do you strike the balance between writing something you want to write and writing something that people want to read, in terms of the compromises you make, if any?

I used to write for me, but after publishing a few titles I've learnt that I need to develop ideas that I'm both passionate about and know other people will be interested to read. I often have several ideas that I would like to write so I've learn that I need to prioritise the most marketable ones.

Recently, I let popular opinion select which of two novels I would write! They were both comedies, one was about a couple who get more than they bargain for when their dying sperm donor makes a sudden recovery, the other was about a group of ambitious indie writers, who suddenly find that the plots of their stories are coming true. Friends voted for the first but Kindle owners voted for the book about writers, so that's the one I'm working on now.


What excites, attracts or appeals to you about the genre(s) you write in.

It's easier to be a comedy writer than train to become a doctor, even though it's widely accepted that laughter is the best medicine. One day I'll save a life, and the lucky patient will say to me, "Yeah, the paramedics stopped the bleeding, but you were the one who made me laugh!"

I also write some more serious books which I'm told can be a little tear-jerking. Whilst I'd never say that I enjoy making people cry, it is very satisfying to hear from somebody who has been moved by my work. I like being able to use fiction to add weight to causes I feel strongly about, such as changing attitudes towards mental illness.


Do you have a box, drawer, folder etc where you keep thoughts and ideas for future stories? Such as names you have come across, bits of dialogue, ideas, characters - even if you have no idea when you might use them?　

Usually ideas get written on the backs of envelopes, because they are the closest thing to hand at 3am when thoughts pop, uninvited, into my head. However, my entire flat is covered in vandalised paper goods – receipts, napkins, bank statements, tissue boxes　… When visitors pop in, I have to check what's lying around. Once a partner found a piece of paper with scribbles that read, "Befuddled" "Trying to leave partner" "Different dog" – that took some explaining.


What type of book do you like reading? Is it the same genre as you write?

My reading tastes are similar to my writing tastes but not quite the same. I love to read comedies and serious whodunits. However, whilst I do write humorous books, I will never ever have the patience to tackle writing a factually accurate, police novel.

At the moment, I'm reading a lot of indie books and working my way through those that come highly recommended, so I've been straying outside my usual reading genres. It's been a very enjoyable ride so far. When I started sharing my work I was a little embarrassed about being a self-published writer, but having read books by really talented indies, I'm now very proud to be part of the indie scene.


What lengths do you go to convince us readers that your book has the X factor?

To be honest, the battle for most indies is not convincing readers that our books are good, but getting readers in the first place. Some people like my work, some people don't. I'm more interested in finding my audience, than convincing the masses that I have an undeniable yet universally undefinable, talent.

I have been known to go to considerable lengths to attract new readers, including accosting Kindle readers at the dentists, 'accidentally' dropping business cards on the train, and making liberal use of the phrase, "Would you mind awfully copying exactly what you just said into a review?"

I also wear garish white boots, radically-feathered hair and copious amounts of eye makeup when out and about, because I like to believe they make me look like a genuine artiste. In actual fact, I end up looking like a waddling 80s chicken.


How do you feel when a reader points out the spelling mistake(s) you have made?

I always welcome constructive ways to improve my work so I'm grateful when people draw my attention to specific errors. I have a proof-reader now, so mistakes don't happen very often. Before I had an editor, a fair few typos sneaked in but the books were priced accordingly. On a couple of occasions, people left unfocussed, sarcastic feedback about typos in free content, which didn't strike me as very reasonable. Even then, after sulking for a few hours, I thanked them for taking the trouble to review my books. At the end of the day, readers' opinions are valuable to writers even when we don't necessarily agree with them.


What do you like most about visiting KUF?

The sense of community. Writing is a solitary pastime and it's great to be able to find an aspect of being a writer, that's actually sociable. Using KUF feels a bit like having colleagues! They might not make me coffee and bring in biscuits, but they do share ideas and gossip with me. I wonder if I could persuade to mods to install a cappuccino machine　…


Have you written any humorous, knicker-related number one bestsellers that are now available as part of a five-star short story collection Rosen?

Well, funny you should mention that Joo, because my short story, Lipstick and Knickers made it to number 1 in Amazon's humorous fiction chart earlier this year, and stayed there for a few weeks. It forms part of the short story collection Seesaw which  is now available for Kindle and to pre-order in paperback!

The Kindle version of Seesaw has received some very pleasing feedback – as well you know Joo (thanks again!) For the benefit of your blog readers, the stories alternate between humorous and very serious psychological tales, hence the name Seesaw.

I'm very excited about the paperback launch, it's the first time one of my books has been released in a physical format. However, the report that I sleep with a copy under my pillow was a vicious rumour! (I'd never deprive my baby of fresh air.)


What is on your near horizon?

I'm working on the new novel that I mentioned, about indie writers, provisionally called Pompomberry House. A group of seriously flawed characters meet on an island for a writers' retreat, and end up thrown into the centre of a murder plot when their storylines begin to come true. Of course, we all know that there are some thoroughly wonderful, ludicrously talented indie writers – but you won't find them at Pompomberry House.


Where can we find you for more information?

I keep a website about my books and indie writing in general, which can be found at: http://rosentrevithick.co.uk/

Or, if you would prefer, you can view Seesaw for Kindle on Amazon:  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Seesaw-ebook/dp/B007GC5J9M/

Straight Out of University by Rosen Trevithick

Straight Out Of University is a more chick-lit type book than the other ones I've read from Rosen recently.

I must admit I found the University bits drag on a bit.  I prefered the story when it got to the "out of" bit and the character Sophie returned to Cornwall.

This book is quite different from most of Rosen's other books, but that just emphasises how good a writer Rosen is.

Overall I really did enjoy this book, but it wasn't quite a 5 star from me.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B004XR0D12

Seesaw by Rosen Trevithick

I've mentioned in reviews before about Rosen being able to write across genres and this collection of short stories and flash fiction reinforces that belief.

Some of these stories have been published on their own and are readable in their own right, but unlike another reviewer, I thought this collection went well together.  Just like the title says, this is a seesaw ride.  The ups are oh so funny, the downs are quite heartbreaking.  I am not ashamed to say I was in tears more than once.  The last story (not flash fiction) just blew me away when I got to it.

This is definitely the best collection of stories I've read in a long while and I'm sure I will read them again.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES READ THIS IN PUBLIC (you will cry, I guarantee it)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007GC5J9M/

London, Doggy and Me by Rosen Trevithick

This novella is a cracker.  Rosen has the ability to write different styles of story and this for me is the best I've read of her works so far (not much but I'm working on it).

Once I'd got over that Steph didn't immediately tell the owners that their dog had died I accepted this story.  Mind you it would have been a very short story if she had :-)

The story then unfolded like a farce.  I could see the action going on in my mind as the writing was so good.  I loved the whole suitcase business.

I'm glad I don't live in London or any city with a tube as I'd be looking at large suitcases in a whole different light.

A fantastic read indeed

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007AGQGUA/

Footprints by Rosen Trevithick

I started reading this by mistake.  I'd picked up a short story chicklit from Rosen and meant to have a quick read.  Instead I was drawn into Jenna's life as she knew it and as she found out all the twists and turns that she was discovering.

This was a good read.  Most of the time I found Jenna very naive even though she's a 17 year old.  Sometimes I found the writing a bit young, but it's written from Jenna's "mouth" so it would be.

I will certainly read more of Rosen Trevithick

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B004A14UTC