How do you strike the balance between writing something you want to write and writing something that people want to read, in terms of the compromises you make, if any?
Well that’s the thing about me you see, I’m a trendsetter; whatever I write, people want to read. I have no idea why, I’m just little old me!
What excites, attracts or appeals to you about the genre(s) you write in.
My short story ‘Hungry’ is a black comedy about cannibalism. My characters rule me; that’s how I work. Stories about cannibals really gives me a chance to serve my characters! Ha ha!
Do you have a box, drawer, folder etc where you keep thoughts and ideas for future stories? Such as names you have come across, bits of dialogue, ideas, characters - even if you have no idea when you might use them?
It’s all in my head, my dear! I have a very large head. Just the other day I heard a mother call her child Calamity, so that’s up there in my incredible mind, besides other names I’ve hoarded like Brilliancé, Jetplane, Conglomerate, Porki, Mellalulu, Leper, Bread … I could go on but best-sellers don’t write themselves.
How much of you is in your characters? Which of your characters is the you that you’d most like to be? Or be with.
The key to good writing is magnetic characters and I am a magnetic person. During the planning phases I rub myself up against my characters so that they take on some of my magnetic charge and then I release them into my books, little tiny, magnetic mini me’s.
Do you become so wrapped up in your writing that your spouse wonders if they're married to you or one of your characters?
Spouse? Creative souls cannot be tied to others! I am but a rubber ball, bouncing wildly around the planet, off mountains and rebounding through gorges! A spouse would be like filling that ball with lead and putting it on a short leash. Spouse indeed – good one Joo!
What type of book do you like reading? Is it the same genre as you write?
Read? Why would I read when I have an infinite plot-making machine on top of my shoulders? The last time I read a book, I got so angry that I had to write to the author and tell him where he went wrong; he set every chapter on the same day of the year – how restrictive is that? He never did get back to me.
What lengths do you go to to convince us readers that your book has the X factor?
I’ve read lots of these author interrogations you know Joo. You’ve got Joe Cawley threatening people with fish, Talli Roland and her composite perfect man gimmick, D.D Chant’s incurable disease … At the end of the day, if your book is as good as ‘The Book of Most Quality Writers’ you don’t need to do any ‘convincing’ because people can see X factor splurging out of its pages! (Or feel it, if they’re blind.)
How do you feel when a reader points out the spelling mistake(s) you have made?
It’s never happened. I am above such mediocrity.
What do you like most about visiting KUF?
I love forums. ‘The Book of Most Quality Writers’ was written by a forum – the best members, obviously. If the mods had let any old newbie contribute to the anthology then I wouldn’t have got involved. I can’t have my reputation dragged through the mud by people who can’t apostrophise! Can you imagine the stink?
What is on your near horizon?
Well, I have a feeling that our anthology is going to be a real hit. So after that, I’ll probably buy myself a nice yacht. Then I shall sit on said yacht, look out over tossing blue waters sprinkled with white sequins and think. I shall think ‘What is on the near horizon?’ whilst looking out to the near horizon. Chuckle!
How do you manage plot bunnies (ideas that invade your mind that aren’t usually helpful to the story you’re writing but breed like...er...bunnies)?
I have a metaphorical air rifle and I shoot them dead. My inspiration never runs dry, so why let unhelpful, needy, fluffy creatures pester me? I have a similar attitude towards lady friends.
Where can we find you for more information?
Thank you ever so much for interviewing me Joo. I think it’s so lovely that you’re giving the little people a chance to be interviewed besides greats like me and John.